What the world needs now is love sweet love...

It just send chills down my spine and my hair stands everytime i see or hear anything about the tsunami. Its so depressing. Why did such a thing happen..especially in a region that us just about to pick up itself and developing. I first heard if it in japan. Its the worst natual diseaster that even happen. Once again mother nature had demostrated its forces. Scary so scary. My japan pictures will be up soon..will b givin you guys the link soon.
So fragile...too fragile...thats what life is. Its 68000 lives and counting.
( taken from xinhe's blog)
I pray for peace
Blessings and honor
Heaven right earth's despair
This is my christmas prayer
For those that grieve
God will bring comfort
Laughter will rapture there
This is my christmas prayer
See i pray that love will rule and reign
And i pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my christmas prayer

For 25.12.2004.*.*.*.*.*.*.Luv Always: Me

~*MeRrY ChRiStMaS*~
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...Heyo...Merry X'mas..hehehe...have a great time yeah... you guys deserve after a year of hard work..dun forget my present k..hahah. Allow the memories of the past year to flash in front of you and take comfort that all these are just the beginning...The next year will be full of new inspirations and beautiful memories...the boulevard of dreams yeah..hehehe..(..yeah..for those who notice its a change fr the fab. green day song boulevard of broken dreams )...Muackx...Cya

TiMe 2 MaKe A LiSt...

I NEED:
1) A job...seriously...too many wants too little $...(scarcity)...hahaha
2) A Facial..my mum is breathing down my neck...she cant stand my face..haha
3) To learn driving..dun really hav the drive to learn but i think its a sooner or later thingy
4) My computer to work...have been using my counsins...
5) To pray/wish/hope harder for the A level results to be ok....insecurities..haiz
6) Lose weight..it was supposed to done like 1/2 years ago..but as you all noe..to no avail..haha

LONG..TERM...TO DO/MUST DO...
1) Go to Maldives...yupyup..the sun the sand the sea...ah...heaven
2) Visit France and Italy..two countries of such rich culture traditions food fashion architecture style and character......indulgence....
3) Get married..mymy...heheh..yeasyeas...laugh..dun really fancy being a spinster you know..hahaha
4) Open ophanage....just watched this show called adoption on hallmark 2dae..so touched..children r indeed the most innocent n none of them shd b deprived of love and the chance to develop to their fullest potential.....( of course..must have capital 1st lah....dreamdream...ahahha)
5) Spend the last few minutes of a year in New York city Time Square ...the atmosphere on tv is amazing..imagine the real thing....

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

I dunno...wat are the chances of them happening anyways....ok folks..jus 5 days to christmas ...time to celebrate the past year and bring hope to the following one..hhehehe muackx..

Going going...........gone

What a relieve. I have packed a part of what needs to be pack. I think this will b the only day that i wished i had fewer stuff. Still, i have no regrets. Hehe
When out with Kaiyun n steph yesterday...then meet up with a couple of councilors.Yups, its always gd to see them.hehe. Went centrepoint to get balloons for Auntie Nat. She is in Mount Elizabeth rm 4420...( i went to the wrong room at first so the number is stuck in my head hahahha).Auntie Nat is fine so is the baby. Its a bit weird seeing her lying on her bed though. Guess i'm too used to seeing her all hyped up.Watching S.W.A.T now, second time i think...( Special Weapon And Tactics= SWAT...for those tt r blur)..
Steph( if you r reading this...hahahha) said she has a bitter sweet feeling. O well, curtain calls. The rainbow comes after the rain.Its tough now but soon it will b better...or so we pray right..hehehe.Muacks
Speaking of bitter sweet. I think everything is bitter sweet. Nothing is perfect i guess. Sometimes we try hard, too hard but end up failing or being disappointed. The sad thing is most of the time we did try our best but its not enough. Luck fate...blah blah. Someone once said that fate is just something that we, human, invented cause we just cant stand things happening coincidenly. Maybe its easier to just to be content. But then again we need our motivation right?...Balance,i guess. know that things are planned out by God and just simply take comfort in it. Thats the important thing. Hehe. Live well, play hard but work a bit harder.

Food-for thought: Bittersweetness. When does the feeling get too overwhelming? How do you get over it?..hehe
Pictures!!!:http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeAOWLdmxbNW7kI

Chrismukkah...Wat?

Firstly...wats with the title??...i dunno..its actually very OC...something that Adam Brody's character seth created. Quite cute i think. hahaha. My mum just screwed me 2dae. I couldnt b bothered i guess. Mayb i'm just used to it. Somehow we never reallt did see eye to eye although we do seem to get along. O' well sad but thats that.
Auntie Nat's givin birth to her third child. I'm glad i'm nt the one givin birth...( Ciara on MTV now...my gosh she's HOT...fab dancer too)..Yup as i was saying... Auntie Nat thinks my maternal instincts are kicking in...Hahahaha... i dunno...
I need a job...seriously...really..now that my comp is down looks like i wont b able to download music anymore n actually buy CDs..hahaha...But thats not the only reason lah...hahaha( Chingy on now...hiphop haha)..o yeah... my latest obsession jazz..hahaha...i can just image my house in the future...it will playin jazz music n all...hahhaha..its peaceful i guess.
i wonder hows and whats everyone up to...hmmhmm...elaine was saying abt her crush on her blog...o well at least he's near...around..yups...sigh..
Uncertainty is a huge word. For some of us it just nonexisting of course. FOr those that r conatant...if you noe wat i mean...( Milkshake is on now...hahaha...bring back funnt memories HAHHA)
Food for thought: " Uncertainty" someone please enlighten me on it...hahaha

everything's different

.....Argh....ah!!!!!So everything has ended...even gradnite. Hmmhmm i dunno y but i have this bitter sweet feeling. So going to miss everyone...my classmates..council...blahblah. Natalia in Indo liaoz...doing China... people like Kaiyun confirm goin abroad so is joleen...Ah.... so many leaving yeah....tisktisk.
Gradnite was fun although i didnt attent it but i was around before and after the whole thing. Got the girls flowers and decorated the room. Its romantic and sweet, with all the candles and flower petals..hehehe..But boy was it stressful...making sure the candles don't go out...surprising everyone..hehehe...Didt slp that night...could have gone clubbing instead went K-box and played pool.Ha....
Juz went out with kaiyun and steph yesterday. I never really understood how pple could juz sit down over coffee and juz talk but now i enjoy it. Its amazing actually how much we could talk about. I guess its because of all the experiences that we've been through. O'yeah i slammed my foot into the cupboard and my toe started to bleed...its damn painful although its juz my toe but...ouch....i haven't cried so much since prelims man..hahaha..oyeah...watched school of seduction..pretty funny plus the gal in it was gorgeous...hahaha
The day before yeasterday, i went to Auntie Nat's. Miss her much..hehehe...ps she is very pregnant should be giving way very soon hahaha. Naomi is so cute abit boy but very adequate.hehehe. We juz hanged out togther ate talked blah..hahaha.
To think that we can actually truely understand and know a person after a year or two might be too naive but i'm should actions speaks louder than words. Through a persons actions and gestures i'm sure the pple around them will actually look through them and mayb even judge them. Whatever we do we are judged and looked and even critised upon. Therefore its inevitable that you will never be totally pleased with someone. Thats, i choose to forgive i guess. I learn from the heartbreaks and different situations not to bother not to behave in a certain way i guess. I dun like arguements and dislike the coldness around some pple thats y some of my frens say i'm givin i guess. But i guess sometimes it takes its toil on me. I end up havin no space and forgiveness for myself feeling kinda blue. The worst thing is you dun even noe those that comfort you are true and sincere or they do it bcoz they are sympathic and/or guilty. Argh so irritating....but i'm learnt to just let go la...not to read too much into things. Hopefully things will thing out ok. hmmhmmm

Food-for-thought: "Does it surprise you that you can actually be such a bastard or bitch sometimes"...are we all missin something/someone?

Shall we ...?

Its 8.01 pm. Did something i havent done in a long time.....swimming....nice to be back in the water i guess. hehehe.Had a near death experience yesterday, almost got knocked down by a car... i'm serious...was just walking across the road when the black BMW dashed across me..come on its red light lor...sheesh...now i have more thought to what my mum always says to me " Be careful and drink more water"...true enough these are the things that i never seem to do. She always says this whether it be as i get out of the car or just before i hang up the phone. hmhm....
Something as simple as a game or music can transcend boundaries age sex....it was also yesterday that we were at anchorpoint watching the 9 goal arsenal match. Amazing...all the guys eyes were in one direction....bet even gisele bunchen cant grab that much attention. The foodcourt was filled with all sorts of pple...men of different ages( the teenager vs the uncles)...race( vicky the indian vs chinese vs italian)...hahaha....its nice..can see y schs and governments all around the global wanna promote sports......it just gels pple together....heheh ( assumption: supporting the same team lah...like duh>>>!!!)
Risk Risks Risks....ever tried something new or for the first time?...Or that something that will just get you all excited....hehehe Richard Gere's character in the movie Shall we dance took the plurge....he tried dancing...maybe it was because " the mask of men lead lives of quiet desperation, now it cant be quiet anymore "....as he sat on the subway going home day after day his eyes traced the sight of the dance sch....and ...boom..one day he decides to go for it....and so the story goes....I guess just like Gere we need that excitement in us...to get us hyped up..a break from our monotoned lives that some of us have...( most of the guys will b lookin 4ward to tonights ManU vs Newcastle match...hahahaha)Come to think of it... i think me taking the A levels is a risk too...with all the hopes and fears..it sure is risky...hahaha. Risk is or used to be taboo i guess. The building blocks of this society that we r living in is security..family..religion...marriage..blahblah...But i guess sometimes will have to take that plurge in order to have stability...the thing is...is it worth it??....Or is that comfort zone so heavenly that you wont wanna try something new or experience something different. Can we really do things with no strings attached? How about the consequences... your values..your friends..your family....and the list goes on...We have so many things holding us back....and so we are conformed by the wall that we build around ourselves. The funny thing is someimes we dun see it but it is clear to the rest. Susan Sarandon said in the movie "You know y we need marriage...because we need witnesses 2 our lives.......Marriage: you are promising 2care about everything good or bad all the time everytime. You are saying yr life will not be unnoticed because i notice it..because i will be yr witness "

Food-for-thought:" I have not failed. i've just found 10000 ways that dont work" -Albert Einstein. Would you try because you heart says so...would you take the risk ?

If theres a shadow...there must be light

....okok...i know it has been a loonngg time since i updated it. Well, i juz wanna take a break you noe...plus has been busy mugging away..hehe( dont believe i juz said that rite).......Juz done my maths paper 2dae. It was ok...or so i hope..Things are unpredictable you know.hhesh..The teacher hates me. Not did i only request to go to the toilet a few minutes b4 time, i wrote all my index number wrongly. Using all the authority that she has....i felt intimidated. O well....i still have 8 papers to go...i'll survive!!!! hahaha....Watched Shark Tale...hehehe....gulity pleasures...heheh...its nice to take a break,kinda like a stress reliever.
Its funny how during this time of stress and fustration, some pple just have it written all over their faces well others ...well they either have different ways of expressing it or they dont have it at all. Theres always this sense of anticipation excitment and anxiety in students before and as they enter the examination hall, but i guess our mind are just to full to observe it.hehehe.Of course, then there are those who handle all these feelings better then others. Some symptoms include stomachache...banging on the table..etc etc. Well, i must say, the ratio of catching up two years' stuff in two weeks is not a pleasant one.
Finally, to all those out there mugging their ass off ( i realize that mugging is not only a pain for the eyes and brain but also for the ass as well hehehe) remember that the rainbow comes after the rain.

Food for thought: God gave you a gift of 86400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?' .....Appreciation ...overrated or underestimated? Think about it... :P

A prayer for ignition

Meeting up with old frens are gd times. Not only do you get to share whats up with each others lives, the company is great especially when there is nothing in the world you cant talk about. Gays....homosexuals...sex...Ns....life...everything. I had an OG outhing yesterday and boy did it bring much needed smiles hope and gd company. A lot of pple find it amazing that we actually are still keeping in contact but they have to understand that any relationship is only successful if they have the involvement of the pple in it. Its a two way thing.
While results and A levels seem to be on everyone's mind right now, i feel human relations should not be neglected. I'm not saying this because A levels is of no importance, cause it could be a life changing exam but how abt the life changing relationships we have? Humans are fascinating creatures, we are fuelled by both our mind and heart. Of course, at particular times we tend to use one more than the other. Of course theres a time for everything, now , its basically the time for chionging. Just got reminded by someone that there are like 6 weeks= abt 42 days to prelims. And yes, i'm gulity of having bad results.
The thing is about strucking a good balance but its easier said then done. Only a handful of those i know can do it. If you are one of those consider yourself blessed. So i guess its time to hit the books once again but i wonder with my short attention spen, how long will it last???
I plan not to go sch 2morow....cause its a friday n theres only GP. Poor Ms Sab..she is so nice n interesting in class yet theres always pple missin in her class. Talking abt missing pple, Ke yi ah...forever in the COR ...hahaha... and o yeah we found out that wai chit is spiderman 2dae. Hahaha..my class is hilarious. With the guys like daniel travins..wai chit...hahaah...My class have a good combination of brains and character. Hehehe. And yeah...Mr michael Tan was not in the best of moods 2dae..partly our fault la. As he went thru paper 2 we all felt like idiots..especially someone who doesnt take chem...like ME...!ha

Food for thought:"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something." Theres only a thin line between the foolish and the wise. Are you sure you're on the right side ?

21 september..the point of no return

...ok... juz a day after i said that those who are blue shld nt b upset...i myself sunk into depression...nah...not really..im kinda numb. You know..when tears start to roll although pple cant tell and you dont tok much.....less than 3 weeks and schs going to end...yet i'm still so unprepared for the As or so it seems. Scared...frightened...to say no i'll be a liar. Somehow i dunno how to feel...gonna puke choke laugh and die everytime i think about it. Yes...sometimes i c the light at the end of the tunnel ...but as i said...its the light of the on coming train. Cynical...skeptical...yup..cant help it although i dun look that way but...hey even i need to let go of some steam. These two years in JC has been a complete waste of time...serious..for me at least.
Jus found out that some of my seniors are doing well...even made it to the Ivy league schs...impressive. 2morow have OG outing( yup...my og is still pretty close)...it will b another destressing session. Guess all that i've gained in these two years are friends...tats my only consolation i guess...sigh.
I miss feeling good about myself...i miss knowing that i'm worthy...i miss knowing that everything will b fine in the end... Think i will just sob nonstop if auntie nat was to appear in front of me right now...thank goodness shes busy and very pregnant may i add.
I guess i'll just have to wait and see... knowing that i'm not exceptionally smart i'll just have to settle with wat i have. Is time ever wasted??? Yesterday, Sarah Jessica Parker finally won outstanding lead actresss in a comedy after 6 years of long wait. Is there a time for everyone? Is my time over??Auntie nat said i'll find my place...maybe..or mayb not...
I'm reading Joy Luck Club now...borrowed from shiang...think drowing myself in a book helps...hope it brings me some much needed Joy and Luck.

Food for thought: " Time is like art-intangible mysterious but unltimately precious" How have the timing of different things affected your lives?...are they permanent?? Is time on your side?

Number one

Its 3 days past prelims....lets see... i 've spent most of my time having a date with my tele and going out with my frens....Watched dogeballs...funny movie with a predictable ending. Spent quite a bomb in borders yesterday....starting to feel the hole in my pocket already...sheesh...shame on me. I just finished watching the last season of sex and the city. Without watching it yourself you will think tat im sick....but you will more den juz love making in that series...you actually will grow with it.
Sarah jessica Parker's character as carrie is in the centre of it all. At long last she found the man of her dreams jus like any other fairy tale story you might think....but the thing is.... it took her ...wat... six odd years to realize or for him to realize that the person you were mearnt to be with is just there....scary...But i must say my favourite part is when the 4 girls walked out of the cafe together. They have been through so much together.
Which cause me to think.....how many of the so called good friends will you keep in six year??...one ??...two maybe....if youre lucky...three???...This struck my head especially when school is ending in 3 weeks time...or less..if you pon somemore....hehehe.
So...yups... its time....to appreciate...treasure and just say a big THANK YOU for everything despite our saturated heads do some more studying coz.... who noes wat the future can hold....we might as well hold on to wat we hav now...muacks...love you all...cya..

Food for thought : "You shouldnt judge a book by its cover....but you sure can sell more with it." How impt is looks to you??? Only skin deep or more

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