Things u dun see.....

gosh....sooooooooo cute..!


Sigh....yeah i noe tts nt a gd way to start an entry..but i jus have to do it.
I cant believe year one is coming to an end
I cant believe i'm stuck with jus two week to submission
I cant believe how irritating i am
I cant believe how i end up where i am
I cant believe
You wouldn't believe how much i'm not listening during certain lectures
You wouldnt believe how many times i feel like its not for me....
You wouldnt believe tt it has always been abt the company/pple ard me and not the things i do
You wouldnt believe that i'm yelling inside
You wouldnt believe how much i feel like killin someone sometimes
I dont believe u jus read this

a skirt-ing affair...a beginnin to a tough week

....Just got slammed by my tutor tt day. gosh...owell wats new. Have to think of an intention to please him nw. Sigh... to think tt life will be simplier after Jc was a native thought. Here comes FOC...there comes RAG...tsktsk...Publications will be out next week. Pretty excited abt it..think its becos i did put in effort. Though i must say there are tons of grammar error.hehe
Gosh there are time where pple can be straight man. Shannon is one such girl. She openly judges and critise..not tt its anything wrong but owell...guess i'm more used to sensitive pple. I swear tt there are moments where i wanna jus strangle her. tsktsk.
Tough week ahead, with more tutorials...more assignments...presentations and essays to write. Not to mention the amount of reading we hav to do. Gosh...and i'm still in year one. Somebody slap me please..wahahhaa
oyeah...wore a skirt after a long time again. And i'm reminded of why i will rather not. My mum said i hav ugly legs and she sighed and shaked her head frm left to right as she said tt.Gosh......no skirt for at least the next few weeks........

...

US....

us


Yesterday was quite a packed day,,,,,went to city hall and supreme court in the morning...den i met up with my parents........den i went for caleb's/councils thingy...hahaha
Tired i was at the end of the day not to mention i was feelin abit sick. When u walk into a place like the city hall or the supreme court..its like walkin into a set. Everything seems abit serreal. Something abt classical architecture that makes my hair stand...hahha. I like supreme court better though...the feelin it gives me and it seems tell a story. If the walls can talk they will tell stories i think...hehe
Bought a book i wanted...daddy paid for it hahaha...i like it .its on layouts..hehe. helping out in a couple of things this holis and layout is one of them..hehe.
*sigh...council goes through ups and downs but we always support one another. Kinda like goin back to your maiden home after u are married ( married to aki i supposed..??hahhaa)... Den u realise how, within jus 3/4 of a sem tt aki has shaped u into an individual. hehe
Gosh gosh look at the time and i still dunno wat to show my studiomaster 2morow.....argh...*oh shit oh shit o shit*

Silly girls.sillier boys...

.My mouth feels dry. i dunno y.This week is pretty much honey mood week i think.not much. crossing my fingers tt this time round things will be better. Missed a tutorial 2dae cz me and drea both thought it was at 10.argh( starts at 9)...silly us. owell,......A level results out 2dae. One of my friends didnt do well.although she worked hard... *sigh...i knoe how tt feels
Talked over coffee with aki mates at night at starbuck tt night. All realising how we hav changed or rather our attitude to issues. Gosh we didnt even realise the age gap. And most of us are more practical den we seem...Back-up plans....we all shd have one..hahaha
My heart stopped and sanked today for at least 30 mins...My comp had a prob....panick man,,,everything is inside. luckily everything is fine in the end.
The tai-tai in me. I dun understand how pple see it, but they think i'll make one. hahaha...but firstly u need a rich man la.dun anyone get tt point...hahaha...i dunno...is it the way i react....is it the way i look.or is it i seem brainless and well.....uncapable... :(
.....anyways.still pending on my newsletter.argh......i'm quite excited actually.coz i did spend time and effort.but den again whos says i will get wat i put in.shd hav learnt frm aki already.. :P

La-La-La...

...What is a break when u have to go to school everyday?
...What is a friend if u dun even bother to talk
...What is...........
Tsktsk....our croissant is still in the making as i type this entry. Missed mambo-ing with k and co again due to work...Gosh when am i even goin to be free. Have the newsletter to publish...hope i do a good job. Actually, i dun mind doin this as a job but as a cca in uni, where points dun get u anywhere, its not at all encouraging. Luckily, i hav pple like yanghan...shuhan...mengz and jan to help me. They are the ones who can deliver the stuff.
Sometimes i feel i take advantage of pple, taking them for granted...i dunno....slap me if i do k..
Been looking at fashion again, i dunno, i just gravitate towards them i guess. Gosh...My stomach is bloating...i dunno y... Since the sem started my bio-clock is gone. Sleeping hours, when they do existe,are turned over. My eating habits..gone. Period...i dun even noe when they come or go...This is unhealthy.

The complex and self-conscious me....

....Got the Johari thingy goin on...Gosh...never knew how pple viewed me till den...actually.i do have some knowledge la. Complex..complex...complex...hmmm...i guess i am...perhaps thinkin too much...owell...self-conscious...u will be lying if u said u arent....hahaha
Crit's over all the week of work has official begun. I couldnt remember much frm critic besides the fact that there was a bash after that. Think i'm learnin to jus take things as they are.haha.

Its Feb

...Ah!!!Ah!!!.6 more days to submission and my design looks like Tod's by Toyo Ito ( famous japanese architect). Sigh. i must say, i've never been this pushed before, perhaps its the new tutor. Despite he's bad reputation, he is not bad at all. But life is not just abt studio...there are other modules...there are friends ( sorry bernie for not being able to go to your play), there are family....and there is shopping...!!! Need to compensate....haahahah
I realise pple hav been missing and i dun blame them as any ship, especially relationships, shd be a two way thing. He is back in mel but misses her like mad...argh...i hate him.....period...*sigh...(breaking new year resolution again) Den of course, there are those u dun get to c too often because of their commitments.
Caught a few eye candies, but they are just like window shopping. Can c cannot touch, not like i knoe them of course. Realise a serious lack of dudes in spore for the amount of pretty girls there are.Hahaha.
And so the day looms closer again. Valentine's is coming. Argh....every cover of every magazine has a feature on it....its driving me nuts....Argh...!!!!~where hav all the gd man gone??
*Sigh......i'm tired, although i dun show it. Someone....anyone tell me i'll be ok....
ps: Desperate housewives and grey's anatomy are fantastic....makin monday nights busy for my eyes...hehehe

Or so it goes...

I've discovered several things lately. Some more painful and saddening than the rest. As studio began once again, we were first faced with our first "fun" project. Scape. Thank goodness, as a group we worked find together. Guess, as shuhan said, we think along the same frequency and are all compromising people.
Just read Dawn's blog, i know she misses her own studio. Can't blame. We all do. All the fun we had, although we worked long hours endlessly. And as always, as humans, we compare. My studio have a cute pair or rather the 3 mice. Tiff, benita and dawn. They all are so cute together. I'm glad to have pleasant people in the studio, to make up for the tutor that we have. Seriously, i don't know what to expect from him except the worst. He has not praised us so far. Well, as elaine has quoted from me on her blog: if hard work is not enough or appreciated...perhaps it wasn't meant to be.
Talking about comparing, i've found another close friend laterly. As we talked about all issues from sexuality, studio, friends, family, relationship, life, future. Well, once again, i proved that i couldn't keep my new year resolution of forgetting him. ARGH...guess no one came close
I'm struggling to find my place. The place where i know i will be fine. Things are scary. They are subjective, i'm not good enough. ..

"What's past is prologue." - William Shakespeare

Spot yourself?...hehe

It’s the New Year but somehow I don’t feel the thrill. Perhaps it’s the fact that nothing much is going to change as a matter of fact; I feel that they might just get worst. Then again, I would like my new year to be a year of joy: A year where I can just enjoy what I’m doing without the irritating and degrading comments of the people around me. Easier said than done I assure you.
If the past is a prologue, I sure think the future will be an interesting story. Yes….sometimes I think too much…yes…I am the philo-girl….yes I like sour things….yes…I might be hard to please…It’s going to be a year where the change in the 1st digit of my age will reflect on the change in my wants and perhaps needs in my life. If you are willing to stay on and be part of this new chapter in my life……do let me know…give me a sign…hahaha…For now, I’ll smile. But don’t let my face fool you.

Newyears eve pics : http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AcsW7Ni2at2EE¬ag=1

New Year resolutions........... that WUN happen.

Thou shall lose weight...
Thou shall be hardworking...
Thou shall not think about him...
Thou shall go "fishing"...
Thou shall get my driving license...
Thou shall have time...
Thou shall not wonder in self-pity...
Thou shall spend less money...
Thou shall be easy to please...
Thou shall keep these resolutions...

Boxing day.....*merry christmas*....

The tears that clean your eyes...

at dusk


The holidays make people more emotional I feel. With all the thanksgiving, the festive joy and the sharing of presents, it all rounds up the past 360 days. My recent trip and after-thoughts during the holidays made me feel small, like the world is too big for me. Not to mention that the release of the first semester results did help in making me feel smaller. I have full empathy for those who gave but are not given. Many what-ifs and doubts did pop in my head as I was stitching away. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. In our quest in life, we meet many of whom are better or more talented than you. And u, well, u just want to fit in.
Been doing some planning for a newsletter and a bash recently and I realize how important it is to know the right people and that your team is important. I don’t want a revolution, I jus want an improvement. Sure, I’ll be judged and measured amongst the rest for all that I put my name to. I can’t help it. I wasn’t born to please everyone. Yet, then again, no one has ever pleased me.
*Take from the taker, Give to the giver....

the unattainable is the most desirable.....

Can't find in spore

There have always been wants and needs. Most of the time we find that we have to compromise on the both resulting in a wish or a desire to obtain what we missed. I’ve recently been to Beijing. Yes! It was freezing but it was also an experience one can never have in Singapore. I did have fun : eating, freezing, shopping, freezing, visiting places, freezing, skiing….hehe. Sigh, I have always liked winter wear, perhaps its because I can never really wear them…haha. So in this case there is only one way: if u can move/change the environment, move/change yourself. Hence the tiny desire to work abroad next time…hahah…So Brad Pitt isn’t goin to come to u………………………go to him….hahaha
Even for partners, there is something about that someone that you just cant get your hands on….that mystery, that curiosity, that vision…. In that sense is good that they just remain a stranger to u la. Hehe Close proximity or understanding will just spoil all the fun.
One man’s trash, another man’s treasure. Same here. One man’s attainable, another man’s unattainable. Perhaps having the unattainable-s makes us work harder, gives us a sense of motivation and teaches us to be humble. But, hey, unattainable-s is just a word in construction…….hehe. Cheers

Hmm...y so free

The papers are all over but truthfully speaking, I’m not comfortable. Perhaps its my first uni paper but it cant be as bad as the guys since its their first paper in 2 or 3 years. There’s a sense of shocking disappointment over me as I sat for my AR 1221 paper because I just came to know of my brother’s very shockingly disappointed PSLE score. Gosh…..its weird, I never expected such a score from him. Anyways, Beijing is the place I’ll be in the next few days. I’m currently feelin ridiculously uncomfortably free. The past semester was a rush, tiring, stressful but pretty exciting as well. Now, I have my long awaited date with my television…..again and again. Ha Ha. Discovering more good-looking prospects on tv and in the movies..hehe…aiyo….hehe. But in reality….where art thou?... My best/ childhood friend won her SEA game fencing gold. So proud of her. I haven’t seen her for…hmmm…a year?..*sigh…haha. I realize I can’t do nor complete a lot of things, another addition to my loser-ness. Tsktsk.