![Embracing reality...[period]..](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BdO2oqM4WFo/S6Xl6LNviyI/AAAAAAAAG6s/a9Rpinw6_g8/S960-R/cut+out+21+copy.jpg)
Live it up. When we are disappointed, confused or even worried we will have to live it up. Easier said than done! I know but I guess we all have to try. As for now, a couple of weeks before my end of semester exams, I’m still clueless as to what to study. Screwed?..haha perhaps. The only dateline to me now is 7 nov. The guilty pleasures of chasing the tv show lost has made me wonder how interconnected we are. How everyone is connected unknowingly through people or familiar faces. Its times when conversations turn dry when I start to get a little worried. Are we all too well interacted?…Do we need new friends? Or is it a kind of comfort silence? Getting a bit dry, that’s wat I’m afraid. The day when u start to find one another no longer interesting and your eyes and heart starts to wonder. Hmmm my reluctance to commit too much. Perhaps that my own opinion of myself is the boundary. I’m too aware, too sensitive?… gosh I dunno. Have always and will always be , kinda, one of the guys. And girls too. Hmm. I seem to b able to blend myself with the two sexes. Hmmm … I wonder whether this is working for or against me. I’m not the typical kind where guys will go ga-ga over I guess. ( ps: always the one who will tease and intro them the girls…not to mention hang and watch cars or soccer..hmmhm) So welcome to the spinster club. Or rather welcome to the Shelf.
False hope vs. hope. Jack from Lost was accused by his father for not giving enough hope. But he didn’t see the point of giving hope if its false. People live on hope. A hope where 2morow will be a better day, when all we wanted will be a step closer to us. Ha. Hope?. Is there a difference if its false ? Can we live on something that has at least a 50% chance of not happening. Sceptical? Yes, perhaps. But just think about it. There is no money back guarantee for hope, we either believe it or we don’t.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
1 comment:
he jia when i read your thing i get the impression that you are sad, is it true?
cheer up life is beautiful as i always say is. you know, i decided not to be sad since a day i found myself on a hospital ward where i stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. there was a man 3 beds nexts to me, he was talking to me from his bed, he seemed preety well, was eating well, listening to his small radio and talking to everybody around him, but a time he called the nursing assistants, he said he wanted to go to he toilet. the people there removed his blanket over him, i realised that he had no legs. he was carried to the wc on wheelchair. he was a diabetic and had both of his kidney failed, he was in the hospital for the past 3 months and went for diasyslis every 2 days. he was living on the hope that he will see tomorrow.
then came a boy younger that me. he was there for the past 1 week he was to get discharged the next day. he had some nervous probs. the next day before he was to be discharged he got an attack and was not allowed to go home. he was staying there on the hope that he will go home one day.
another guy of 23 yrs then approached me, he also had both of his kidneys failed and had slept in the same ward for 2 months. when i talked to him, i realised that he also had problems hearing me and understanding what was i saying. he told me that he loved a girl and know that he would never marry her and he will surely die in 2-3 years time, but he lived in the hope that his parents and sister will come see him at the visiting hours.
in the bed opposite me laid a man that can fed with tubes, at artificial breathing apparatus and had a tube connected to his bladder. he was concious in his pitiful and horrible condition. he could just murmur painfully when his wife and children would come to visit him. they were living in the hope of life again.
during that 4 days i remember witnessing 2 deaths and more struggles between life and death.
they were all living in a hope of something, are those false hopes?
since that day i very happy of my life, however the conditions i find pleasure and small things, as a smile, make me happy.
hope dies last. life is wonderful.
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